Stupid Chicken Butthead
by eifi
Summary: Sasuke is the cause of everyone's problems. Sakura's debt, Itachi's lack of a secretary, and much more. It all started off with a simple yell of 'JACKASS' but it grew into something much more. ItaSaku. AU
1. Chapter 1

Hey :D Hope you enjoyed going back to school like I did -_- *insert sad violin music here and some sobbing children* /cry

This story is a joint fanfic with me and alina (weasel-cheater), who is also a itasaku writer. This fanfic is more of a funny/pervy AU Romance fic, it will get more serious and less cracky in the later chapters 88D (Since it's alina in charge of teh funny and I think Im in charge of the romanticy bits and grammar checking)

And so, most of this chapter was made by alina, I grammar checked it all (still may be mistakes) and we both came up with the story. It's a Secretary Boss type fic, seems cliche right now but we're going to bring in all sorts of awesome plot twists in :P

Review people, it'd be nice if we hear from you guys to 1. Prove you read :D 2. See if you like it :D 3. If its critiscm then we can make sure we don't make mistakes twice and make it more bearable for you to read this story xD and 4. We're review whores. D: If you don't review we shall rapeth you with a chainsaw and sword. :D

Enjoy reading =D

* * *

Stupid Chicken… Butthead

An ItaSaku AU story

By eifi and weasel-cheater

Chapter 1

All our Problems Originate from Sasuke

* * *

Green eyes glaring angrily at the old man in front of them, her breathing labored and her eyes twitched ever so slightly as she tried to put on a sweet smile. 'Sasuke's car… just remember Sasuke's car…you have to pay for crashing his beloved Mercedes into a pole Sakura… Calm down.' She reminded herself as she tried to ignore the lustful eyes of her boss and… was that drool at the corner of his mouth? 'Ugh, that's gross!'

"Anything else I could possibly do for you, sir?" she said through gritted teeth trying not to strangle him right then and there. Big brown eyes darkened as the hunchbacked man leaned against his office, a malicious grin appearing under his moustache, showing his yellow teeth.

Sakura scrunched up her nose, trying to get away from the deadly smell of the man's breath, and watched as a skinny hand reached towards her head and how suspiciously sticky fingers played with pink natural tresses of hair.

'Oh great, I have to disinfect my hair now, or worse…CUT IT! Who knows what he has been doing with his hands.' She thought irritated as she used all the willpower she could muster to keep her hands at her side, trying not to beat him into a bloody pulp, though that was becoming quite appealing right now.

"Oh, but there are so many things that you could do for me…" he said in what he probably thought would be a seductive voice, but to Sakura it sounded more like a donkey's roar.

'_Oh hell no! that's it, he's so going down!' _inner Sakura exclaimed as she pointed an imaginary machine gun at the man's head and started firing like a mad man. Sakura smiled coyly and batted her eyelashes sweetly.

"Oh…. but I know exactly what to give you. A punch or two for your stupid, faggot, perverted face!"

Two hours, 35 punches, 20 kicks and one boring walk home later.

* * *

A now jobless Sakura was staring intently at the TV screen, stuffing her face in ice-cream, trying to clear her mind and think of something.

"Okay…let's go over the situation…I have just lost my job, beat up my ex-boss in the process, probably will get sued by said person, I still have to pay Sasuke's stupid car, the mortgage and…did I miss something?"

'_Yeah, you forgot about those speed tickets…you know, the ones that you keep under the sofa?'_

"Uh huh! I should probably pay them someday… Maybe later though…" She groaned and plopped back onto the sofa, closing her eyes in frustration as her fingers tapped onto the armrest in the rhythm of a slow beat. She sighed softly, letting herself carried away by the soft chords, feeling as though her mind had cleared. She opened her eyes and gazed at the ceiling, watching as the shadows danced on the flat surface.

"Why can't Sasuke just forget about that car and move on? Just like how he did when Naruto got drunk and crashed his Lamborghini into a gas station? He didn't demand that he repays the damage did he? Why did he have to do it now?" She asked herself as she angrily threw a pillow on the hallway hitting the neighbors' cat.

"Stupid cat, coming for food again…" she mumbled watching as the poor feline meowed and scrambled out of the house and away from the furious woman. She sighed and looked at the half empty can of ice-cream as if she expected it to start laughing at her.

"What was so special about it anyway? Oh right, it was 'a gift from onii-chan'."

* * *

_A young woman glanced nervous between the car and the furious man standing only 5 feet away from her. His head down and his breathing hard, his dark bangs hiding his eyes as he clenched and unclenched his fists. _

_She let out a small laugh and fidgeted a little in her place feeling the killing intent radiating from her friend. " Come one, Sasuke-kun…hehehe…it's just a little dent..hehehe no biggie, see?" she pointed a shaky finger towards the car but gulped as she saw even more smoke coming from under the hood and were those flames? Yep, definitely flames. She sweat dropped and glanced back at the fuming boy. _

"_Just a little dent, Sakura?" he asked slowly, his left eye twitching madly and his whole being was shaking in rage as he took one step closer. _

"_Just a dent?" he repeated, his voice deadly and Sakura could tell that he was about to leach out at her about…now._

"_Are you out of your fucking mind? That's not just a little dent! Not even a big dent! You completely demolished it!"_

"_Hey, that's not true-" she was cut off by the sound of metal hitting pavement and they both stared at the cars door that was now laying innocently next to the car. _

"_I'm sorry, Sakura, I didn't quite catch what you said just now." _

"_Nothing sir."_

"_Didn't think so either. How could you Sakura? I entrusted you with my car and what have you done? Look at it, is wrecked!" Sakura rolled her eyes at him, leaned her weight on one leg and checked her nails, ignoring the glare sent her way by one furious Uchiha._

"_Then just get another one, big deal. What's so special about it anyway?" Sasuke's jaw fell to the ground staring at her as if she grew two heads. Sakura glanced at him from the corner of her eyes and sighed. She turned to him fully and checked her watch. _

'_3… 2… 1… GO!'_

"_What's so special about it? I'm going to tell you what's so special about it! It was my graduation gift, Sakura!"_

"_Yeah, so?" _

"_It was my graduation gift from Itachi. A gift from my nii-san!" Sakura stared at him for two full minutes then shook her head and blinked a few times as if she just woke up from a trance. _

"_Did you just say that this entire ruckus is about a present that Itachi gave you?" _

"_Sakura, do you know just how important it is for me?"_

"_Sasuke, Itachi gives you lots of things. Like, on your fifth birthday, he gave that ridiculous fluffy blanket for you to hide under when you were alone, it's not like you still use it or have a place of honor for it, right?" _

_He straightened his back and put his hands on his hips. Sakura watched as his face brighten and a proud grin graced his features. _

"_Actually I have framed it and put in on my wall." _

_A cricket was heard._

_A dog chased a cat._

_An owl called in the night._

"_You're kidding me right?"_

"_No. why would I?" he answered seriously watching as the girl hunched over holding her stomach, laughing so hard that tears appeared down her cheeks. _

"_Just wait…till Naruto…finds out!" _

"_Hn, I wouldn't count on that too much, _Sakura-chan_." He laughed darkly and put an arm over her shoulders his low voice and malicious look sending shivers down her spine. She gulped looking at him warily._

"_Why?"_

"_Because, my dear friend, you will be busy working…to pay for my car!" _

"_Oh hell no!"_

"_Oh, but yes…" he finished in a creepy voice, his eyes crimson red daring her to go on. _

"_Fine…" she grunted looking the other way, hoping that one big anvil would fall on Sasuke. _

* * *

"Stupid asshole, if it weren't for him I wouldn't have to pay for the stupid car…" Sakura moaned, deciding then and there that she hated Itachi's ass as much as she hated Sasuke's stupid chicken butthead hairstyle. Remembering that she still had to work somehow for even **more** debts, she sighed and looked outside the window.

"I'm so dead!"

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of Konoha, a raven haired young man with obsidian eyes stepped out of his sport car and took of his shades. He raised his eyes at the looming building and smirked walking casually towards the main entrance.

He ignored all the stares, calls and proposals that greeted him and headed to the elevator, feeling rather proud. He only needed to drop a few files that his father insisted on and he'd be out of here. He approached the oblivious woman at the desk and tapped his fingers lightly on the wooden surface. Eyes still glued to the screen, the woman answered politely as she kept typing random things.

"I apologize, but Itachi-sama is not here at the moment. Would you like to make an appointment or you rather wait for him?"

"Hn" Innocent blue eyes looked up and she froze, a scarlet blush spreading across her face.

"U-Uchiha-sama…I- I apologize, but your brother I-is not here r-right n-now…W-would you like me t-to announce him of your visit?" she stammered as she stared helplessly into those pools of black, her heart skipping a beast as she saw him smirk. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the woman and smirked. Maybe he could have some fun here while waiting for his brother? He leaned closer, his face only inches away from hers, looking straight into her eyes.

"That would not be necessary…"

"Lorna…" she breathed out, feeling her knees go weak at only his velvety voice.

"Right…Lorna, do you think you could help me with a little something?" he whispered hotly, his breath fanning across her face and she found herself nodding in response. 'Too easy…" he thought as he straightened his back and made his way towards Itachi's office. He stopped by the door and looked over his shoulder sending a dazzling smile to the woman and beckoning her to come inside. 'Way to easy…'

* * *

Itachi Uchiha was not a happy person, seriously he wasn't. He was downright pissed! He had just come out of a four hours long meeting and he was tired, hungry and damn he needed some dango! If he had stayed one more minute in there, he swore he would have strangled someone! He sighed as he stepped inside the office building. Being the CEO of the Uchiha Corporation surely was a tiring thing.

"Any messages for me?" he asked the blonde curly woman at the front desk, nodding in greeting.

"No, sir. But your brother stopped by to see you. He should still be at your office." He nodded his thanks and went towards the elevator, leaning his head against the cold metal, hoping his migraine would subside. The cling of the doors brought him back into reality and he stepped out from the elevator, walking casually towards his office. He raised his eyebrow at the empty desk, blinking a few times. Last time he checked, he had a secretary that was supposed to stay there. He shrugged wanting nothing more than to collapse into his comfy chair and drink a coffee. Maybe eat some dango too if he has the time. Just as he was about to turn the knob moaning caught his attention…moans coming from his office! He narrowed his eyes, gripping the knob tighter before throwing the door open.

His hands fisted in anger as he took in the image unfolding before his very eyes.

Papers and files were scattered all over the floor with pieces of clothing here and there. His left eye twitched as he directed his gaze towards his desk, where a very familiar woman was laying on, her pencil skirt slightly ripped on one side and her white chemise hanging on his chair, while a certain brother of his was pounding into her, rather harshly might he add.

He gritted his teeth as the moaning got louder and louder, the two still oblivious to his presence. He subtly loosened his tie, took off his jacket, and rolled up his sleeves. What? He wants to feel comfortable during a fight. He cleared his throat and watched in ill satisfaction as the two froze, heads turning in his direction in slow motion.

"Hello, otouto, what a pleasant surprise." He said in a scary voice, cracking his knuckles and enjoying their terrified looks. 'I think I'm going to become on only child.'

"U-Uchiha-sama…I-I'm so terribly s-sorry…" the poor woman stuttered as she hastily gathered her clothes and left the office, tears streaming down her cheeks as she heard the cold angry voice of her boss telling her not to bother coming back to work again. Sasuke gulped and took a few steps back as he watched his brother grin evilly, a dark aura radiating from him.

"Hey… Nii-san… Hehehe…how are you?" he asked lamely, his body tense and ready to make a run for it. Which given the situation would most likely be happening. He heard his brother let out a creepy laugh and his eyes widen for a moment before he regained his composure. He was an Uchiha after all; they do not know what fear is.

"Oh…just peachy…" he growled as his eyes narrowed dangerously, red flashing in his orbs as he grabbed the chair's back. Ignore previous statement about fear.

"Explain yourself, Sasuke!" he demanded, his voice was cold and harsh as he glared daggers at his younger brother, his keen eyes scanning over his face critically.

"Ah..." Sasuke glanced a little worried between the chair and Itachi, not liking his brother's glare, or the fact that he was tightly gripping said chair. He raised his eyes back to his and replied unsecured.

"Sakura put aphrodisiacs in my drink for calling her annoying and I couldn't' control myself." Itachi raised an eyebrow and closed his eyes, a cruel smirk pulling at his lips. He slowly shook his head from side to side and lightly tapped his fingers on the chair's back. He chuckled darkly and opened his eyes, his gaze piercing his skull.

"Hm…..." his sharp tone sent shivers down Sasuke's spine and he fidgeted a little. "But, you are my brother so…"Sasuke sighed deeply relaxing before his muscles tense again hearing his brother's next words. " I'm going to let you try again."

"Uh…she came on to me?"

"Nope, I'm still not buying it. Try again."

"Fine! I got bored." He snapped, glaring back as hard as he could, not wanting to back down from this fight and let his brother win. Itachi raised a raven eyebrow and tilted his head to the side *insert squealing fan girls here*

"So, you decided to take your boredom on my secretary? " Sasuke scowled at the skeptical, almost mocking tone of his brother and shrugged leaning against a wall.

"Why not? You wouldn't have used her anyway. I mean, everyone knows that…he paused at the confused face of his brother and smirked before he continued…"you're gay." Itachi's eyes narrowed dangerously and he let out an animalistic growl, his hands gripping tightly the chair before he forcefully threw it at the little brat's head. Said brat barely dodged the flying chair and watched with horrified eyes as it shattered into pieces against the wall. Picking himself up from the floor, he sent him a fierce look.

"What the heck, man? That could've been me!" Itachi gladly returned the gestured, his face flushed from anger and his breaths were coming in hard pants.

"Hn!" The boy sighed and combed his hair with his fingers, bringing it in his usual chicken ass shape. He looked down and frowned.

"That was mom's favorite painting." He muttered under his breath staring at the broken glass and ripped paper on the floor. "She's going to be angry." His eyes returned to Itachi and he silently thanked Kami as he saw that he was regaining his composure little by little.

"I'm not worried about it little brother, because you're going to be paying for it."

"Ah…no, I'm not. Your chair-your throw." He argued and crossed his arms over his chest. Itachi just shrugged and leaned against his desk.

"You dodged, it's your fault."

"Would you have wanted it to smash against my head?"

"That was my plan, yes."

"You're joking, right?" he asked in disbelief and Itachi just smirked and stretched his arms.

"Why, I am quite serious, Sasuke. Now, shall we continue?" Sasuke blinked a couple of times and slowly backed away.

"Now, now, Sasuke…you can either stay here and take it like a man, or you can just jump out the window. What option sounds more appealing to you?" he nodded his head towards said window and cracked his knuckles. The younger Uchiha fell silent for a few moments and looked between the window and Itachi. 'Now, what would be less painful? Jumping from over 40 feet or facing Itachi's wrath? '

"Okay…could you please open the window for me?"

"You're not getting away that easy otouto." The boy sighed and closed his eyes. Falling into a battling stance, he smirked at his brother and sent him a mocking look.

"Let's see what you've got brother."

One and a half hours later

One smug Itachi leaned against the wall and stared at his brooding brother that was currently holding an ice pack at his jaw.

"You didn't have to kick that hard, you know?"

"I know." Sasuke scoffed and turned his head away childishly, muttering an almost inaudable 'asshole' under his breath. Itachi chuckled darkly and sent him a daring look.

"Would you like to repeat that?"

"Not really no, may I leave now?"

"Actually Sasuke, I am not done with you yet." The older Uchiha shifted a little in a vain attempt to make himself a bit more comfortable, smirking at his brother's traumatic look. Who wouldn't be, when you have been beaten up to a pulp and about to embrace hell on Earth.

"You see otouto; I am facing quite a dilemma right now. It would seem that I am lacking a capable secretary, something that is rather hard to find as you might know." Sasuke snorted and switched the ice pack, wincing as it hit his abused skin.

"And whose fault is that?" he asked mockingly but shut up when Itachi sent him a deadly 'you-don't-want-to-go-there' look.

"As I was saying. I am lacking a secretary, and you, my dear otouto, are going to find me one." His voice was demanding and his gaze piercing, yet Sasuke raised an eyebrow seemingly unaffected by it.

"You have until tomorrow to find me a new secretary. But not any secretary. She must be: 1- Pleasant to the eye. Do you know how many retarded and perverted business partners come to negotiate with me? It'd be easier to sucker them in and distract them so they don't read any of the small print I give them. 2- Capable enough to handle the job without having to be supervised 24/7. 3- Not a who- Uh, easy woman. 4- I'd rather her not be an old woman that could barely walk around. 5- Not a fangirl. I already do as much exercise as a weightlifter or a professional footballer does with all this running around I do." He sent his brother a hard stare, his eyes showing just how serious he was with the matter.

The younger brother sweat dropped whilst looking at his brother almost unbelievingly. 'Well that surely reduces the list close to zero…' Still feeling his brother's hard gaze on him, Sasuke nodded and smiled forcefully, feeling like pulling at his hair in frustration.

"Good. You may leave now." Itachi watched in sadistic glee as the boy limped his way towards the door. When the soft click was heard, Itachi turned around sighing and looked at his once beautiful office that now was just a huge mess. His eyes moved lazily over the room and he almost pouted. He really liked that recline chair. It was perfect to sprawl on after a long day, have a warm cup of tea and a plate of dango close by on his desk, and throwing mini darts at a photo of Shisui that he had on his walls was probably the closest thing to having fun to Itachi. It was one of his favorite ways of relaxation. He sighed again and closed his eyes tiredly. 'Joy. I'm going to have to burn all the furniture because of that retard and the slut of my ex-secretary.'

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha sighed for the 9th time that day. He had gone through hundreds of resumes and made dozens of calls, yet nothing came out of it. He had nothing he could work with! Nothing. Nada. Zilch. He rolled around in his whirly chair and faced the window, watching as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. He clasped his hands together and crossed his legs in front of him, his eyes narrowing displeased.

He only had time until tomorrow afternoon to find a compatible candidate for the position of being Itachi's secretary, and he'd rather find someone in the time limit. Not that he was afraid of the consequences, pfft yeah right… Okay maybe he was just a little bit, but that wasn't the real reason. The true motive behind this mad quest was that he didn't want to lose this challenge that his brother had set for him and most importantly, even if he never admits it, he doesn't want to disappoint his older brother, who he held in high regards.

Now only if he could find a young woman, smart enough and not a fan girl. He sighed deeply scratching his head. Who was he trying to kid? Who could possibly be that crazy to accept this position and handle his slightly sadistic brother? His movements froze as his eyes widen for a split second before they turned malicious and a devilish smirk pulled at the corners of his lips. Grabbing his jacket he took slow, calculated steps towards his car. He might have found the right person for the job.

* * *

I hope you liked the chapter xD and I hope you are interested in the story :O Review pl0x XD Criticsm is also liked :O Oh and you may be wondering why I put lorna as the secretary. Reason why = There was this fat bitch I hated so bad in real life who bullied meh and was a total bitch :D *hates the name lorna*

Remember :D This is also written by weasel-cheater :D Visit both of our profiles to read more awesome itasaku fics.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for the long update delay, so many exams T_T 12 more to go too! The chapter was mostly alina's work, I added some here and there and corrected the majority of the mistakes and edited shittons. I'll be updating a lot more during june/julyish, so stay tuned? XD

Heres a small interlude~

**Sasuke steps in the centre holding a gigantic signpost reading 'Sasuke's awesome strategy of getting rid of Itachi's annoying fangirls who piss the hell out of him whenever he tries to enjoy some red fresh tomatoes.'**

**Sasuke : Heh heh heh, HEY GUESS WHAT!**

**Fangirls : Itachi is going to strip for us and have mad sex with us?**

**Sasuke : No… Close but no… He's gay. He proposed to Shisui the other day.**

**Fangirls: WHAT! NO! SHISUI is DEAD. (They all run after Shisui, whilst Shisui feels a oddly cold vibe)**

**Sasuke: Kekekekeke, peace and quiet.**

**Itachi: Sasuke! Why am I receiving flowers and gifts from guys! And why are people murmuring about me and Shisui committing incest?**

**Sasuke: *whistles innocently***

* * *

Stupid Chicken… Butthead

An ItaSaku AU story

By eifi and weasel-cheater

Chapter 2

Introducing a new verb. 'To Shikamaru something'. Also seen in 'I shikamarud that tree', and 'That was a total bad shikamaru'  
But no, the real chapter title is

A Problem solved, a new Problem created.

* * *

A warm breeze drifted through the dank streets, taunting and playing restlessly with random unfortunate leaves that happened to fall in its path. It was quite early in the evening but everyone was already either enjoying a peaceful dinner with their loved ones or scurrying in the shadows, in a desperate attempt to complete their jobs and errands before the sun set and the signal for the day ending came.

Unaffected by the hurried rhythm around them, almost inaudible footsteps resonated on the concrete, padding across the pavement whilst slowly making their way through the familiar grounds, accompanied by the sound of laughter coming from a small coffee shop.

Stopping in front of the small window and gazing through it in the dim lidded room, a gentle sigh escaped through the her lips, as her gaze lingered longingly over the happy faces, chatting enthusiastically whilst sipping from a cup of tea or peacefully munching on the delicious looking tiramisu. She sighed once again, pulling the dark brown jacket closer, in a vain attempt to try to shield herself from the chilly wind that was haunting the streets as the sky gained a reddish colour and the night started to settle in.

She watched as a small child, not more than five years old, turned his innocent gaze towards the window, light blue eyes staring curiously until a terrified screech pierced through the air, gaining the attention of everyone in the room, and giving Sakura the cue to scramble.

No matter how hard the poor mother had tried to placate her little baby, the child wouldn't stop crying, his blue eyes now puffy as tears kept pouring down his chubby cheeks, his lower lip trembling as he tried to quiet his sobs and tell his worried mother what it was that he has seen to scare him so. Sniffing and rubbing his already sore nose, the little boy had a difficult time telling his mother how he will listen to her and eat all of his vegetables so that the scary monster wouldn't come for him again.

Exchanging weird glances, the people around kept quiet as they watched bewildered how their normal 'vegetable hater' was now stuffing his small mouth with beans and cabbage, not understanding his actions one bit. Scrunching his face, the boy kept eating the horrible tasting food, not wanting to meet 'the bad man that will come and take you if you don't eat your vegetables' again, the images of the beast still vivid in his memory. Hungry looking eyes were staring lustfully at him, their green darkened by desire, not blinking once as soft looking pink hair was blowing in the wind, shadowing the creatures face. Big hands pressed against the cold glass, as its mouth was hanging open, drool coming from it and trickling down. He forcefully gulped the last remains of cabbage and switched his eyes towards the window sending it a victorious arrogant grin.

Panting tiredly, she stopped from running and leaned against a brick wall letting herself slide down onto the pavement, catching her breath as a hand flew towards her chest trying to slow the erratic beating of her heart. Closing her eyes for a brief moment she let go of a string of curses blaming herself for how foolish she was, letting herself be caught into such a pathetic state... drooling over a window while staring at a happily family enjoying their dinner peacefully and probably scaring to death the poor child. But she wasn't the only one to blame though… oh hell no she wasn't. She couldn't wait until she would be able to get her hands on that good for nothing blond friend of hers, and let him know, again, that emptying her refrigerator while she was low on money was not a very smart thing to do!

But until then… she had to fill her empty tummy with something. Groaning, she begrudgingly slammed her hands down wanting nothing more than to push herself up and be on her merry way, but Kami had decided to show her, yet again, just how much God hated her that day. Not longer than a few short moments after she tried pushing herself up that someone has tripped over her sprawled form and fell on top of her, knocking the air from her lungs and causing her head to hit the wall, hard.

Annoyed to no limit, the pink haired woman growled menacingly at the object of her distress, her angry, green eyes glaring at the poor soul that had yet to get off of her, her right hand fisting ready to take off all of her problems on the unlucky person. She watched as the stranger slowly raised himself on his hands and the first thing that came to her mind upon seeing who had knocked over her was,

'The Fuck?'

* * *

Stepping away from the confinements of the office building after finishing all the preparations that had to be done for the day, a tall, dark haired man welcomed the evening breeze, his eyes closing as a soft sigh escaped through his lips. Allowing himself a much needed moment of relaxation, his dark eyes opened slowly gazing softly at the sky where reddish colors started mingling together onto its canvas, squinting as the wind blew past as the young man stuffed his hands into his pockets and casually made his way out of the office area.

Despite being a car lover, he decided that walking home would be easier and less stressful, given the events that had happened earlier today. His brows knitted together in aggravation, recalling what had happened and just who was the one that had started this whole mess. Taking a deep breath, he deliberately pushed the dark thoughts in the back of his mind, wanting nothing more than to enjoy the walk and clear his mentally scarred mind.

Strolling through the streets, he walked dismally and sighed to himself as the wind picked up more and more. Pulling his jacket closer to himself in an attempt to protect his body from the cold, his keen ears caught onto the quite sobs of a little girl, whose cat had somehow landed itself in a tree and was not able to get down. He watched as a boy, probably a few years older than her, had bravely climbed into the tree and rescued the poor kitten and handed it to the girl patting her head as she beamed at him, showing her two missing teeth.

A ghost of a smile spread across his lips as he watched the two make their way towards their parents, his mind replaying, again and again, a picture in his head that he had never been able to forget. He would sit on the soft, green grass, under a blossoming cherry tree, smiling content at his two little children, as they played in the clear waters of a river nearby. Every time, a gentle, melancholic voice would call out for him and he, feeling his heart melting, would turn his gaze towards the source of the voice, but no matter how hard he would look, he has never been able to see more than the outline of a beautiful woman, with an angelic voice.

He shook his head, the images fading away, as they always had, and he strolled down the street, crossing the park, barely avoiding a football that nearly hit him square in the face. He glared at it annoyed and brought his arm up, glancing at his watch and checking whether or not it wasn't too late to hit a dango shop before heading home. Nodding to himself he turned around and made his way towards his favorite dango shop already feeling his stomach yearn for the sweet treats.

Raising his eyes to the sky, he idly wondered how his little brother was doing in his quest of finding him a secretary, his left hand twitching towards his phone, but he decided against it. As sadistic as he may be, he has decided that his brother has had enough torturing for the day, thus he will be waiting until tomorrow at noon to torment his beloved otouto. He smirked darkly, imagining and formulating sceneries and strategies in his head as to how he would make his little brother's life a living hell. Turning a corner, he closed his eyes, a devilish chuckle escaping his lips, yet karma had made a point to show that no one, no matter his rank or power, is able to escape her deadly clutches, for not a minute later after his sadistic plotting, Itachi has found himself falling to the ground, landing face first in the pavement, a menacing growl coming from under him.

Feeling all of his pent up frustration coming back to him ten folds, Itachi slowly raised to his hands, his face twisted in anger, giving his normally onyx colored eyes a crimson like shade, as he glared with all his might at the small figure that he landed on. Watching how strangely familiar green eyes glared back at him, only for them to turn into fearful as soon as her mind registered who exactly he was. Bewildered, they stayed like that for a good minute, both staring at each other, one anxious looking and the other one slightly disappointed by the predictable reaction.

Finally having had enough of this, Sakura snapped at the older man on top of her, hardly keeping her hands from brutally shoving him off of her. She might have been at the end of the rope, and she might have a rather volcanic temper, but she was smart enough, even in her angry state, to know not to mess with Uchiha Itachi, especially when he was this angered.

"Mind getting off of me already?" Okay, so it might not have been the most polite, proper way of telling an Uchiha to get the fuck off of her, but right now, dealing carefully with an Uchiha was definitely the last thing on her mind, especially this one. Narrowing his eyes at the clear show of disrespect, Itachi did what every Uchiha would have found most suitable in this situation. He hn'ed, slightly amused when a vein started popping on the petite woman's forehead, showing her irritation with his choice of vocabulary. But try as you might, Itachi is and would always be the perfect gentleman, so he heeded her words and gracefully rose to his feet, smirking at the woman below, and not even bothering helping her up.

'Guess chivalrousness really does have its limits…' Sakura thought begrudgingly as she pushed herself up from the icy floor. Not even sparing a second glance at the man beside her, as the word says, the smarter one gives up. Unfortunately for her, a certain Uchiha was in need of some entertainment to relieve his anger that had accumulated during the day so he smirked and easily fell into pace with her, amused by her trying of ignoring him. Deciding to play a little with his brother's friend, if he recalled correctly, her name was Sakura Haruno; he glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, his arrogant smile never leaving his lips.

"Sleeping on the pavement is not very healthy, Haruno." The girl scoffed at his mocking words and the fact that she wasn't able to get rid of him. 'Damn Uchiha, he's just like a leech!'

"I was trying to pull a Shikamaru out of my ass." She replayed sarcastically, increasing her speed and stepping in front of Itachi, who merely raised a raven eyebrow in response to her sarcasm and let his eyes travel lower, and resting on her rear, nodding his head approvingly. It would seem that certain things happen when Itachi doesn't have his share of dango, like letting his perverted side of him out, if only a little.

Hoping that her rude behavior has somehow cast him away, Sakura, sent a quick glance over her shoulder, green eyes framed by soft pink locks of hair that were blowing gently in the wind. The girl cursed under her breath as she noticed that her dear pursuer has not given up the chase and was now staring at her amused, a smug smirk adorning on his lips. The girl scoffed and turned her eyes forward, but much to her dismay, the Uchiha was once again by her side, in just a few strides. Being tall surely does have its advantages.

"Don't you have anywhere else to be, Uchiha?" Even if she tried her best to keep her voice straight, her words still dripped with venom much to the man's beside her enjoyment. Itachi tilted his head to the side and stared at her blankly, his smirk blooming more and more.

"As a matter of fact, I do." Was his bored replay as he took enjoyment in seeing how the females left eye twitched furiously, and how her teeth were tightly clenched. Letting loose a small chuckle at the girl's angry remark.

"Then please, don't let me by in your way!"

"There isn't anything I would like to do more than that, Haruno. But unfortunately for me I have to babysit childish little girls." He said looking intently at the gaping woman besides him, as if she were nothing but a burden to him, silently hiding his amusement. Feeling her whole being shaking with rage, Sakura clenched her fists, seeing nothing but red in front of her, as she took a step closer towards the infuriating man.

"What was that?" she asked in a low, deadly voice, that would have made any leisure man gulp nervously and run for his life, killing intent radiating from every pore of her body. Itachi smirked and took a step closer, unperturbed by the woman's glare, keeping his back perfectly straight as only his eyes lowered towards hers mockingly; not even bothering taking his hands out of his pockets as he challengingly repeated his previous statement.

"Who are you calling a defenseless little girl?" She growled as she tilted her head upwards staring him in the eyes, oblivious to how his eyes darkened and how a devilish smirk played on his lips.

"You."

"No one asked you to stick around! So why don't you take your cocky attitude, shove it up your ass and beat it already!" She snapped at him ready to show the guy just how "defenseless" her right hook was, when a hand suddenly slammed against the hard wall behind her, sandwiching her between said wall and a strong body, so close that she could feel how the man's chest would rise with every breath he'd take, and how his warm exhales would fan over her face.

"Heh, I didn't know you had such a potty mouth. So un-lady like." Itachi whispered softly, shaking his head from side to side disapprovingly, his dark bangs following the motion and tickling both his and Sakura's faces. A ferocious snarl escaped through pink full lips and Itachi could have sworn he saw steam coming out from her ears and nose.

"Well that's rich… coming from the guy whose hair is longer and softer than most of the women!" She retorted sarcastically tiptoeing so that she could compensate the difference in height. Feeling his masculinity wounded by Sakura's remark, Itachi glared back at her as ferociously as he could. They kept glaring at each other for what felt like hours, neither wanting to back down and admit defeat, until the unthinkable happened, and a deep, resonating growl has made itself known from Sakura's stomach.

Blushing a deep scarlet and turning her eyes to the ground, she whole-heartedly wished that her stomach would just open and swallow her whole, (which it well may well could have and done considering how much embarrassment it just made her go through), rather than facing the smirk and smugfuglylook that Itachi was sure to be sending her way. She just knew that Itachi, being the sadistic bastard that he was, wouldn't just pretend to not have heard it.

"Hungry, _Sakura-chan_? Don't tell you've lost your job again and now you're broke." Not finding a proper excuse for her condition, nor a point in denying what it was obvious that has happened Sakura childishly turned her head to the side crossing her arms over her chest, reminding Itachi of a little pouting Sasuke that was busted when caught red handed as he stole the last cookie. A deep chuckle was heard and Sakura looked at Itachi tiredly, watching as he took a step back and straighten himself, kind of expecting a huge speech on how much better he was than her because she's so goddamn poor. Surprisingly, he _didn't_ make one, instead looked at her with a dull looking expression.

'Well, at least he's not intruding in my personal space anymore.' Sakura concluded, a silent Itachi was a good Itachi. God forbid, it was always better when the Uchiha's shut up for a while. Taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it, Itachi opened his eyes looking his serious self once again, for what Sakura was deeply grateful.

"I would more than gladly treat you to some dango, if you so desire, my lady..." Itachi offered offhandedly in his normal responsible tone. Astonished by his sudden change of moods, Sakura stared at him speechlessly, but no matter how much she wanted to believe his words and the trustful look that was plastered on his face, there was something in the back of her head telling her how this was a set up. And true to her thought, soon after, a smirk broke onto his face, his gaze regaining its superior aspect as he continued "If...you apologise for tripping me earlier and for your rude behaviour."

Sakura stared silently at the man in front of her, who had the nerve to smirk at her and act all mighty. She was used to this type of behavoir, and truthfully she could care less. She turned away to start walking away from him, before she changed her mind and put her hands on her hips as she leaned forward, a snarl ripping from her luscious lips.

"Are you kidding me? You were the one that wasn't looking where he was walking! If someone should be apologising then that would be you! I even hit my head due to your recklessness! Do you have any idea how hard that wall was?" She shouted, her eyes piercing through his skull, showing her anger. Itachi raised an eyebrow pondering the situation for a few moments, ignoring the flow of curses and complains coming from the young woman. Silently nodding to himself, he straightened his back and bowed.

"Please accept my humble apologises, Haruno-san." Upon hearing his words, Sakura froze, her mouth falling to the ground with a loud thud, her green eyes bulging out. She was amazed, utterly and truly amazed. She would never actually be able to win against one of these goddamn Uchihas, nor would she ever be able to understand one. And at that, she concluded that it was a very good idea to just stop and give up. Unable to form any sort of eligible sound she just stared blankly, with slight bewilderment, at his smirking form as he swiftly passed her, his left shoulder lightly brushing against hers. 'Did Uchiha Itachi just apologise? To me nonetheless? The fuck?'

Blinking herself away from her stupor, she stared helplessly at his retreating form, his lazed ponytail dangling at his back, a small pout pulling at her lips as she childishly mumbled hoping that he wouldn't hear her.

"What about treating me to dango?" She inquired quietly under her breath from several lengths away. Being the genius, with a keen hearing that he was born with, Itachi was able to hear her and stopped just as he was about to step into a shop, glancing at her over his shoulder.

"See you later, Haruno." He smirked at her and turned around, smirking as he heard her frustrated mumble. Walking casually towards an empty table, he sat and turned his eyes outside, shaking his head lightly as he watched the woman stomp away to Ichiraku ramen shop, from where screams of agony were soon heard. That was most probably belonging to the other best friend of his brother, Naruto Uzumaki. Uninterested, he focused his gaze onto the menu in front of him until a loud screech tore the air as a familiar voice declared that, "Naruto! You're the one paying for all this!"

* * *

By the time he reached his destination, the night had already settled peacefully. He turned off the engine and got out of the car, his feet carrying him to a wooden door. He rapped at it and waited patiently for the pink haired woman to answer. When nothing happened though, he frowned and knocked a little louder, thinking that she was still sleeping, yet the only answer he got was silence.

Worried, he took out the spare key that she had given both him and Naruto, and opened the door, letting himself in as soon as the click of the lock was heard. Stepping inside, he called his friend's name a few times, as he padded across her living room, down to the kitchen and finishing with her bedroom, where the white silky sheets of the bed were lying untouched. He sighed and opened the door to her closet, noting as her jacket, the one that she got from Kakashi on Christmas and the one that she never left without, was missing and silently wondered where she could be this late in the night.

Now that no one could see him, he let his worry creep on his face as he checked his watch and wandered through her clean kitchen, fixing himself a cup of tea and patiently waiting for her return, trying not to alert everyone (again), that Sakura was missing. Well, he would probably wait another hour or so before he will do that, but until then, he took another sip of his tea and lay his hands in his lap, trying to think at the best strategy that would make Sakura quit her job and work as Itachi's secretary. He moaned, letting his head to hang low. He had a hell of a lot of thinking to do.

Luckily for Kakashi and Naruto, Sasuke didn't have to wake them up and throw a tantrum about how Sakura's missing then go search the whole city for her, because not a half hour later, the front door opened and a worn out looking Sakura stepped into her humble kitchen checking her mail and occasionally throwing any useless envelops over her head.

Wanting to go straight to the point, no matter how humorous her blabber about stupid, good for nothing Uchiha's was, Sasuke loudly cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow at his best friend, as she screamed loud enough to break some windows, and threw all of the papers into the air, taking an ungraceful step back and falling into a battling stance.

"Nice to see you too, Sakura." He welcomed her sarcastically, cocking his head to the side one arm resting near his empty cup of tea.

"Sasuke...you're here...you...of all people, it just had to be you..." She mumbled slightly out of breath, her eyes wide open, gulping. 'Great, just the person I wanted to see right now...' she groaned in her head remembering the past events, losing her job, again, having to pay for Sasuke's stupid car that she wracked...again. She moaned and looked at him tiredly.

"What do you want?" Sasuke raised a fine eyebrow at his friend's question, and smirked evilly plan already formulated. Chuckling to himself, he leaned back into his chair, stretching his long legs then crossing them looking at Sakura through long dark lashes.

"Why Sakura, I just wanted to see how you're doing." He answered sweetly watching as Sakura looked at him suspiciously, her usually cheerful and bright green eyes now narrowed waiting for him to cut the chase. Which, he gladly did.

"How is the payment for my car going?" Sakura gulped at his serious tone and laughed nervously, taking small steps towards him. She smiled sweetly at him as her hands reached out to smooth his collar trying hard not to smother him as she adjusted his necktie. She raised her eyes and gasped as she caught a glimpse of her clock.

"Oh lookie Sasuke-kun, it's so late, oh my!" She gasped as she hastily pulled him to his feet and pushed him towards the door all the while blabbering about how late it was and how he'll need his eight hours of sleep. Sasuke sighed and turned around stopping her efforts of kicking him out. He leaned against her doorframe and looked down at her, his eyes faking disappointment, and arms crossed.

"You were fired again, weren't you?" He asked her sternly and smirked when he saw the woman turn her gaze away from him and childishly muttering a no. He hned and used his right hand to turn her head towards him, as he leaned down so that their eyes were at the same level.

"So...how are you planning on paying my car? Most jobs now, require a good recommendation letter, and I doubt that your ex-boss will give you one. So tell me, Sakura, what are you going to do?" Sakura scoffed and slapped his hand away, knowing full well that what he said was true. She'd need a well paid job, and she doubted that punching your ex-boss would give a very good impression. She huffed angrily, crossing her arms over his chest, while Sasuke smirked. 'Just a little bit more...' He thought as he patted the girl on her head drawing her attention back to him.

"Now, now, now, Sakura-chan, there is no need to stress that pretty, pink, little head of yours over this." Sakura narrowed her eyes at that little sarcastic comment, but looked up hopefully anyway, but not missing that malicious grin that was forming at his lips.

"Will you forget about it?" Sasuke chuckled and leaned against her doorframe, closing his eyes briefly already living that glorious feeling of victory. "Not so fast, Sakura-chan. Hm... I'll tell you what... " He opened his eyes and pushed himself from the wall taking a few steps forward and coming face to face with Sakura.

"I am willing to forget about your debt, if... you do something for me in return." Sakura gulped and looked warily at him, not liking the way he looked at her or how he talked to her. Just like a predator would to his prey. But she wasn't about to let this kind of chance to slip away. So she took a deep breath and stared him straight in the eye.

"And what would that be?" She immediately regretted her decision when a demonic crazy Orochimaru-like laugh escaped from Sasuke's lips and the lights from the house started to flicker.

'Just what have I got myself into?'

* * *

I hope you enjoyed the chapter xD Sorry it took so long, after june I should be able to update more often. Im also going to try to finish returning favours in summer! ;D Stay tuned ItaSaku fans!


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